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Don't just say no; teach alternative behaviour

Imagine working with someone who keeps telling you you're doing something wrong, but not showing you how to do it right
wags-whiskers-web
Wags and Whiskers - Joe Griffith

Most of us have been there: our dog jumps on a guest, grabs a shoe, or starts barking out the window, and your instinct is to say, ѻýNo!ѻýѻýmaybe even loudly. It feels like the right thing to do in the moment. But hereѻýs the truth: saying ѻýnoѻý might stop the behaviour for a second, but it doesnѻýt teach your dog what you want them to do instead. And thatѻýs where the real learning happens.

Dogs are intelligent and eager to connect with usѻýbut they donѻýt come pre-programmed with an understanding of what behaviours we want. Left to their own devices, theyѻýll jump up to say hello, chew things that are not their toys, or bark to communicate excitement. None of these actions are ѻýbadѻý from a dogѻýs perspectiveѻýtheyѻýre just normal dog behaviours.

If we only correct what we donѻýt like, we leave them guessing. But when we show them what we wantѻýsuch as sitting to greet, chewing a toy instead of a shoe, or staying calm when the doorbell ringsѻýthey can succeed. Teaching your dog whatѻýs expected sets them up for success and builds confidence.

Letѻýs say your dog jumps on you when you come home. You say ѻýno,ѻý and maybe they get downѻýbut what happens next time? Probably the same thing. Thatѻýs because ѻýnoѻý just interrupts the moment; it doesnѻýt offer a solution. Instead, try teaching your dog to sit for greetings. Now they have a clear job to do, and youѻýre reinforcing a polite behaviour rather than scolding an unwanted one.

Dogs are excellent at figuring out what gets your attention. If barking out the window makes you come over and yell, thatѻýs still attentionѻýand it can actually reinforce the behaviour. But if being quiet earns them a treat or praise, theyѻýll begin to choose that instead. Show them a better option and reward it generously.

Imagine spending your day with someone who keeps pointing out what youѻýre doing wrongѻýbut never tells you how to do it right. Thatѻýs how it can feel for a dog who hears ѻýnoѻý all the time. Over time, this kind of interaction can chip away at your dogѻýs confidence and strain your relationship.

On the flip side, when you highlight and reward good choicesѻýlike sitting calmly, walking nicely on leash, or waiting at the doorѻýyou create a more trusting, cooperative bond. Your dog begins to look to you for guidance.

What should you do? Instead of focusing on stopping the unwanted behaviour, think about what alternative good behaviour youѻýd rather have your dog do in that moment. If they bark when the doorbell rings, teach them to go to a mat and lie down. Donѻýt want them pestering you during dinner? Practice a ѻýsettleѻý cue with activities on a comfy bed nearby and reward them for staying put.

Bottom line: saying ѻýnoѻý might stop the behaviour in the moment, but teaching an alternative behaviour creates lasting change. And in the long run, thatѻýs what leads to a better-behaved dogѻýand a much more enjoyable life together.